Evan awoke alone in a shapeless, cold void. For just a moment, fear of isolation prompted a sudden jarring impulse to be alert. By the time he could feel the slight traces of warmth coming from his nearby companions, he had already risen into a seated position. Breath came in practiced, slow waves, his urgent instinct to fully stand gradually faded.
A faint draft drifted over Evan as he listened to the distant white noise within the sealed abode. In disquieting time, traces of vision came to his eyes. Drowsiness had departed him as he gradually came to the realization he could just barely see. Starlight filtered inside, even as his mind was lost amid intruding thoughts in the lonesome abyss.
Evan stood and stealthily moved, making his way along the dark interior staircase and onto a flat concrete rooftop. He recalled the area was clear from before and felt no fear of any lurking terror. It was in a way, a refuge from recent events, from people and things. Walking to a boxy, jutting shape he sat and stared into the sky. Unfamiliar fires hung in the deep reaches of the sky, poking through sparse clouds.
Staring up for a long while, Evan never faltered in his waking state. Lost before the immensity of the structures overhead, thoughts wove together in oddly relaxing forms. His own microscopic existence, and miniscule world grew smaller as the Earth's grasp weakened over him. Everything would be okay because nothing really mattered.
He had not been aware of anything until a moving shape flicked through his perception. For an instant of fatalistic acceptance, he had no reaction. Heavy fabric rustled.
"Couldn't sleep?" Came a gentle vocalization.
"No." Evan answered, peering into an unfamiliar, yet well-known sky.
"I couldn't either." Minoko's voice returned softly.
Evan thought he had committed himself to some socially required response, but later on, he wasn't quite so certain he had spoken. Either way, silence lingered whilst the lightweight girl picked a place to sit. Breath billowed out, mingling while dispersing into the still air.
"I don't think your friend is a bad person." Came another statement with that minimal accent.
Evan allowed the words to linger between them for a while. As if the longer the sounds remained aloft, the truer their meaning would become. Finally, he spoke. "He could have waited until we found another car." There was a period of relative silence punctuating each fragment of thought. "Left some water. Food. The ammunition. The rest of the keys. Anything..."
Thinking fell into a temporary lull as he just stared into the tattered, unpolluted sky. He spoke again with a shake of his head, not looking towards his visitor. "No. Leon is right. A good person wouldn't have done that."
He could feel the weight of Minoko's gaze upon his side, but he couldn't quite look at her. He had the uncanny feeling she wanted to speak, but couldn't. He inhaled sharply before his voice flicked out from his throat. "I'm not angry. I thought I could trust him. I thought I could trust my judgement."
Evan hung his head with a heavy sigh. The thoughts which had been keeping him awake remained. He couldn't lie to himself; he actually was angry with Lucas. He couldn't force the emotion away, but he knew it also couldn't solve anything. The only thing it could do is distract his mind from the situations that he could still influence.
Whether Lucas would return or not, that was out of his control. Either outcome didn't matter, the memory would forever linger that his trust was misplaced. They were thirsty, hungry and their plan was derailed. He was just as angry at himself that he didn't foresee that outcome and prevent it.
"I- I almost did the same thing today." Minoko replied with a quivering voice. "When we first got to the car. I- I hesitated before unlocking the doors. If I didn't- reconsider- I would have abandoned you."
Evan sat upright, staring off towards the nearby buildings reflecting starlight. A tension shot through his palm, but he hid it from her.
"I- I was afraid. I was-" Minoko continued after clearing a lump from her throat. "Escape felt so close. I wanted it so bad." She paused there, as if expecting Evan to ask a question. "But then I thought of how Robert acted, when... It happened. The attack."
Minoko struggled to speak. She sniffed and wiped tears away, but Evan had the distinct impression that she wasn't done speaking. So he waited for her to continue while still staring ahead.
"Robert was strong like you. Not physically. He had asthma. He couldn't lift me. But he wouldn't- He didn't hesitate." Evan looked over at Minoko as she set her face in her hands. His fingers unclenched as he offered an arm in a attempt to console. She leaned in, taking a deep breath to calm herself. "I couldn't.. Let his final act be for nothing. It couldn't be meaningless."
Evan ruminated over the confession, wondering just why she was giving it. Perhaps she felt an irrational jealousy towards Lucas. Maybe she felt guilty that her impulse was to do the same thing. "So, you tried to act like Robert would have." Evan finally concluded.
"No. I'm- I'm not that kind of person." Minoko's voice hitched. "It was Evelyn. Robert died to keep her alive. If she had been in the car, then I would have..."
Evan allowed Minoko's sudden outburst of emotion to flow. She needed it, and as strange as it was, listening did make him feel a little better. Occasionally a breeze would sweep by, adding a bristling of branches to the distant, continuous babble.
Minoko was the first to speak again, sounding much better now. "Thank you. Your friend.. Lucas..." Minoko seemed unsure of what she was going to say, then resumed along a different line of thinking. "Your friends. They all think so highly of you."
Evan acceded to the statement with a brief nod. He wasn't quite in agreement with the sentiment, but there was no denying they often spoke highly of him. At the very least, they believed it.
"I think your friend.. Lucas. I- I don't think he's a bad person. But... If I thought about Evelyn the same way that your friends think about you... Then I wouldn't have needed to have her with me..."
Evan sat in silence for a long while with Minoko, looking into the partly obscured starlit sky. Agitation continued to linger but it felt less volatile, less personal now. He could finally rest.
