Agitation

Evan awoke alone in a shapeless, cold void. For just a moment, fear of isolation prompted a sudden jarring impulse to be alert. By the time he could feel the slight traces of warmth coming from his nearby companions, he had already risen into a seated position. Breath came in practiced, slow waves, his urgent instinct to fully stand gradually faded.

A faint draft drifted over Evan as he listened to the distant white noise within the sealed abode. In disquieting time, traces of vision came to his eyes. Drowsiness had departed him as he gradually came to the realization he could just barely see. Starlight filtered inside, even as his mind was lost amid intruding thoughts in the lonesome abyss.

Evan stood and stealthily moved, making his way along the dark interior staircase and onto a flat concrete rooftop. He recalled the area was clear from before and felt no fear of any lurking terror. It was in a way, a refuge from recent events, from people and things. Walking to a boxy, jutting shape he sat and stared into the sky. Unfamiliar fires hung in the deep reaches of the sky, poking through sparse clouds.

Staring up for a long while, Evan never faltered in his waking state. Lost before the immensity of the structures overhead, thoughts wove together in oddly relaxing forms. His own microscopic existence, and miniscule world grew smaller as the Earth's grasp weakened over him. Everything would be okay because nothing really mattered.

He had not been aware of anything until a moving shape flicked through his perception. For an instant of fatalistic acceptance, he had no reaction. Heavy fabric rustled.

"Couldn't sleep?" Came a gentle vocalization.

"No." Evan answered, peering into an unfamiliar, yet well-known sky.

"I couldn't either." Minoko's voice returned softly.

Evan thought he had committed himself to some socially required response, but later on, he wasn't quite so certain he had spoken. Either way, silence lingered whilst the lightweight girl picked a place to sit. Breath billowed out, mingling while dispersing into the still air.

"I don't think your friend is a bad person." Came another statement with that minimal accent.

Evan allowed the words to linger between them for a while. As if the longer the sounds remained aloft, the truer their meaning would become. Finally, he spoke. "He could have waited until we found another car." There was a period of relative silence punctuating each fragment of thought. "Left some water. Food. The ammunition. The rest of the keys. Anything..."

Thinking fell into a temporary lull as he just stared into the tattered, unpolluted sky. He spoke again with a shake of his head, not looking towards his visitor. "No. Leon is right. A good person wouldn't have done that."

He could feel the weight of Minoko's gaze upon his side, but he couldn't quite look at her. He had the uncanny feeling she wanted to speak, but couldn't. He inhaled sharply before his voice flicked out from his throat. "I'm not angry. I thought I could trust him. I thought I could trust my judgement."

Evan hung his head with a heavy sigh. The thoughts which had been keeping him awake remained. He couldn't lie to himself; he actually was angry with Lucas. He couldn't force the emotion away, but he knew it also couldn't solve anything. The only thing it could do is distract his mind from the situations that he could still influence.

Whether Lucas would return or not, that was out of his control. Either outcome didn't matter, the memory would forever linger that his trust was misplaced. They were thirsty, hungry and their plan was derailed. He was just as angry at himself that he didn't foresee that outcome and prevent it.

"I- I almost did the same thing today." Minoko replied with a quivering voice. "When we first got to the car. I- I hesitated before unlocking the doors. If I didn't- reconsider- I would have abandoned you."

Evan sat upright, staring off towards the nearby buildings reflecting starlight. A tension shot through his palm, but he hid it from her.

"I- I was afraid. I was-" Minoko continued after clearing a lump from her throat. "Escape felt so close. I wanted it so bad." She paused there, as if expecting Evan to ask a question. "But then I thought of how Robert acted, when... It happened. The attack."

Minoko struggled to speak. She sniffed and wiped tears away, but Evan had the distinct impression that she wasn't done speaking. So he waited for her to continue while still staring ahead.

"Robert was strong like you. Not physically. He had asthma. He couldn't lift me. But he wouldn't- He didn't hesitate." Evan looked over at Minoko as she set her face in her hands. His fingers unclenched as he offered an arm in a attempt to console. She leaned in, taking a deep breath to calm herself. "I couldn't.. Let his final act be for nothing. It couldn't be meaningless."

Evan ruminated over the confession, wondering just why she was giving it. Perhaps she felt an irrational jealousy towards Lucas. Maybe she felt guilty that her impulse was to do the same thing. "So, you tried to act like Robert would have." Evan finally concluded.

"No. I'm- I'm not that kind of person." Minoko's voice hitched. "It was Evelyn. Robert died to keep her alive. If she had been in the car, then I would have..."

Evan allowed Minoko's sudden outburst of emotion to flow. She needed it, and as strange as it was, listening did make him feel a little better. Occasionally a breeze would sweep by, adding a bristling of branches to the distant, continuous babble.

Minoko was the first to speak again, sounding much better now. "Thank you. Your friend.. Lucas..." Minoko seemed unsure of what she was going to say, then resumed along a different line of thinking. "Your friends. They all think so highly of you."

Evan acceded to the statement with a brief nod. He wasn't quite in agreement with the sentiment, but there was no denying they often spoke highly of him. At the very least, they believed it.

"I think your friend.. Lucas. I- I don't think he's a bad person. But... If I thought about Evelyn the same way that your friends think about you... Then I wouldn't have needed to have her with me..."

Evan sat in silence for a long while with Minoko, looking into the partly obscured starlit sky. Agitation continued to linger but it felt less volatile, less personal now. He could finally rest.

Out of the Frying Pan

In the middle of an intersection a few blocks from the university's grounds, the stolen car idled.  Cab light from inside spilled out as the lone figure inside maneuvered from front to back, establishing a fragile semblance of order.  Everything which had been haphazardly discarded needed to be visibly passable as pre-arranged.

After one final examination, Lucas returned to the driver's seat and extinguished the cab light.  Taking a deep breath to calm himself he focused his mind upon the coming evening.  Satisfied with the reading on the fuel gauge, he geared into drive and allowed the car to slowly coast forwards.  Approaching the Mansfield building, he parked the car along the curb just outside the sealed metal gate.  Even inside the car, the noxious odor of decay greeted his senses.

With the last vestiges of light fading from the sky, Lucas killed the engine and carefully examined his surroundings.  Feeling a momentary sense of dread, he extinguished the cab light and sat in darkness, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the traces of starlight.  Knowing he- alone- was in control of his own security in the dark was a terrifying thing.  Stained sheets nearby concealed lumpy remains, but nothing he could see was moving.

An initial shock gave way to relief as a spark of light sprang up from within the building.  After a moment it spilled down the walkway, illuminating the car.  Lucas waved to whoever was there, and cautiously emerged from safety.  To maintain an illusion of confidence he retrieved a rifle, although feeling the weight of its carrying strap pressing into his shoulder felt awkward.  Approaching the building, he scanned his eyes over the surrounding streets and sidewalks.

Jennifer approached the gate wrapped within a heavy grey coat.  A strap from one of the scavenged rifles crossed over her ample chest.  Wide hazel eyes peered through the bars hopefully as she gripped the lock.  "Where's Evan?"

"We-"  Movement suddenly drew Lucas's attention, spurring him to whirl around.  After a few seconds of staring at the surrounding emptiness he concluded he had overreacted to shadows cast by the light source Jennifer had brought with her.  "We found a working bus."

"A bus?"  Jennifer regarded him with a curious look, her straight, medium length dark hair fluttering in the light breeze as she unthreaded the steel from the gate.  She rewove chains effortlessly through the iron lattice once he slipped through.  "So why didn't the others come back with you?"

"We found supplies too.  More guns and ammo and water."  Lucas fidgeted with his glasses as he tried to recall what he had planned to say.  "I mean, it was all abandoned stuff that was probably brought in to help the trapped people.  I guess they just left it behind when the black notes hit.  He- er, we were- are- the others are gathering some before they head this way."

"In the dark?"  Jennifer asked with a worried tone in her voice.

"There's floodlights that were set up.  On a jeep crashed near the bus.  Anyway, we turned it on and it lit up the surrounding area."  Lucas added with what he hoped was an air of confidence.  "Evan sent me here so we can leave now.  He'll be going out to Blackwood dorm with the bus and the rest of the supplies.  We're going to check the path ahead is clear so the bus won't get stuck."  Lucas proceeded towards the building with Jennifer trailing.  Ahead, he could see Ryan peering out at them.

Ryan opened the door with his eyes wide.  "Dude!  You guys find anything?"  He stepped outside just enough to hold the door open, snugly wrapped in his mildly tattered blue-grey winter coat.

Lucas made a sweeping motion with his arm, pointing out.  "A bus!  We're leaving tonight!"

"Score!"  Ryan took a step outside with a goofy grin, but halted mid-step and stepped back.  "Whoa, almost forgot."

"If we're leaving, we can't forget someone."  Jennifer proceeded past Ryan into the building.

"Oh yeah!  That too."  Ryan withdrew, leaving Lucas alone in the chill.

A growing sensation of alarm welled up within Lucas as he halted.  He hadn't seen anyone else here earlier and hadn't considered that possibility.  Too many others would delay this course of action by an unacceptable margin.  Time pressure was mounting and in his imagination he could picture Evan catching up with him at any moment.  Alternatively, the others could grow suspicious of him or ask too many questions he couldn't convincingly answer.  Lucas forced himself to steady his breathing with considerable effort as he waited.

It wasn't long before Ryan emerged with an overloaded backpack and held the door.  Jennifer followed with a light in one hand, assisting a broad-shouldered, but slightly shorter man at her other side with his right arm in a splint.  She spoke words which hit as a wave of relief to Lucas, "Okay, let's get out of here."

With few spoken words passing between them, they departed in an orderly fashion.  Jennifer unsealed the gate, handing her light off to Ryan in the process.  With zealous focus, Lucas advanced and hasted to activate the vehicle.  Locks clicked; the engine flared to life in a gratifying burst of activity.  Headlights threw their illuminating glare on the building ahead.  The others packed their gear with alert haste and secured themselves inside.  Soon the quartet were fully prepared for exodus with no signs of trouble.

As anticipation of successful escape filled his mind, Lucas thought about the route ahead.  He did not have much direct experience with driving, but the only path he had considered taking was also the most familiar one.  If there was a blockage or trouble somewhere, he would find an alternate path through.  He just had to hope that the evacuated, dangerous zone didn't extend too far outside Portland.

"Which way are we heading?"  Jennifer asked from the back seat as she rearranged the various weapons Evan had successfully recovered.

"Past Hillsboro."  Lucas replied, taking them around the corner slowly.  "Along sunset highway as far as we can take it."

Beside him, Ryan looked up.  "How far do we have to go?"

"Hillsboro was evacuated."  Jennifer responded.  "So at least that far."

"That's not too bad."  Ryan declared as a momentary lull overcame the occupants.

Lucas thought he glimpsed a standing figure somewhere along the streets.  As he discovered the freeway onramp he dismissed the vision from his thoughts.  If something or someone was lurking in the city, it was now too far away to matter.  Accelerating down the freeway onramp prompted a release of anxiety like a pressure valve being toggled.

They hurtled through the dark tunnel separating downtown Portland from the surrounding area,  Emerging on the other side, the car traced the freeway's winding path.  It ran through the narrow, wooded valley between the hills dotting the edge of downtown Portland's western flank.  Although the light posts dotting the sides of the freeway were dark and the asphalt was atypically empty, the natural scenery did promote a degree of comfort Lucas hadn't realized he was missing.

As Lucas eased the car along at a steady pace, Ryan reached forwards from the passenger seat to turn on the heater.  Without speaking, he also turned on the radio and fiddled with the controls, seeking a signal.  Trying not to distract himself too much from the drive, Lucas briefly wondered why he hadn't thought to try such things.  As they listened to static coming out of the speakers in a slowly warming environment, Lucas grew more and more at ease with how the night was resolving.

Having other people around to help was wonderful.

Betrayal

As soon as Evan heard the burning squeal of tires upon pavement, he realized what was going wrong.  Without a moment's delay, he ran to obstruct the escape, but with an energetic swerve and a near-miss, the vehicle broke away at a good clip.  Futilely, he shouted, dashing down the asphalt and arriving at the ramp into the garage several seconds behind the car.

Pursuing after the sounds of frenzied, erratic driving, Evan believed he would sight the vehicle ahead until the moment he could see it tear onto the street.  Slowing his pace to a walk, then resigning himself to failure, Evan came to a halt midway towards the slope leading to the first floor.  Nothing he could do now but salvage the outcome.

As the sounds of the vehicle diminished Evan tried to set his mind on what could be done.  He warily eyed his surroundings and called out to the others.  "He's gone.  I'm coming back!"  A shout of recognition returned.  Now they were only accompanied by the low hum of the nearby river.

Evan had made a terrible mistake.  With uncanny clarity, the sudden shriek of rubber combined in his memory with Lucas's declaration that 'someone like him' could survive here.  In retrospect, the eagerness to help out despite the seemingly morose mood made a lot more sense now.  In his own way, Lucas had almost given a warning of his intention.  But as aggravating as it was to know his trust had been woefully misplaced, being angry with Lucas right now could not solve any problem.

Careful to remain wary of his surroundings, Evan ascended to the top floor of the parking garage.  The others were waiting anxiously just at the peak of the ramp, weapons drawn and ready.  Leon spoke out when he spotted Evan walking up the sloping ramp to the roof.  "Wasn't that guy a friend of yours?"

Evan exhaled wearily as he brought the white hood of his coat over his head.  "Yeah.  Lucas is- uh, he's a really good guy.  He's just..."  Sighting the keys he had been tinkering with on the ground, Evan moved to retrieve and pocket them.

"When things get tough, people show you what kind of person they really are."  Leon shook his head in exasperated fashion.  "Damn it, I left my backup ammunition clips in there."

Evan made a sound as if to reply, grasping for a response.  He believed his friend was better than that action would indicate.  Certainly, once Lucas returned to his right mind he would realize this was a terrible mistake.  Evan just realized it wasn't the time to tell that to the others right now.

"We don't have lights!  What should we do?"  Minoko spoke as she fidgeted with her blue coat.

Leon sighed heavily  "I don't think we'll be able to make it all the way back before the sun sets."  He gazed off in the direction of the university grounds, over the Willamette river and many city blocks distant.  "Shit, do you think zombies can see in the dark?"

"They have the same eyes we do."  Evan wasn't certain, but even at a quick pace he thought it would take about an hour to return the way they had come.  Lengthening shadows of evening were crawling across the landscape.  Glancing up, Evan saw dark clouds littering the sky in artful smatters, threatening rain.  "But it's still probably not a good idea to travel in the dark.  We should find shelter somewhere as soon as we can."

"Sounds like a good idea."  Leon approached the edge of the structure and gazed at the street below.  "I don't see any zombies down there.  But I hear something."  He gazed in one direction away from the river.

"That's not the Willamette?"  Minoko's eyes became wide with sudden alarm.  She turned towards the direction Leon had subtly indicated.  Evan knew there was a mall somewhere close by over a gentle hill, though it was obscured by trees and buildings from this vantage point.  He could see a big hotel and an office building over in that direction, though.

"It does sound like the river...  But it seems like there's something else too, I think whatever it is must be a ways off."  Leon added.

Now that someone had suggested something more sinister, Evan began to reevaluate what he had been idly dismissing.  Being more skeptical, he couldn't discern the direction of whatever the source was...  "Hurry then.  First thing that might work, we go for it."  Evan glanced sideways towards Minoko, giving her a chance to speak.  She shook her head, remaining silent, apparently content to let him and Leon decide their course of action.  She still seemed genuinely uneasy with the firearm she carried, nervously inspecting it now and then.

"Well, if either of you see somewhere that might work, say something."  From their vantage point, Evan examined the nearby blocks in the direction they had arrived from.  They didn't have much time to delay, so he scanned hastily.

They needed somewhere suitable to hide from whatever would be lurking in the dark.  The majority of structures in their vicinity were considerably smaller than the dominatingly large convention center.  Dismissing the larger structure, Evan examined what else laid around, reasoning that the smaller buildings would be more likely to be safe.  Yet as far as he could see, the businesses nearby were also broad-windowed in design, easily providing a view of the interior.

Trying to recall the recent sights upon their arrival to the area, Evan sighed.  Each business he remembered within a minor walk, from a bank to coffee shop to fast food restaurants and a marijuana dispensary all seemed unsuited to their needs.  Every place he could recall had big windows so they seemed impractical for hiding.  They might have to just return along their course of arrival and duck into the first suitable building they found.

Just as Evan turned back to face the others, Leon gave a cautious shout and waved.  The slightly older man had progressed a little ways along towards the further end of the structure. He pointed downwards, to something very close.  "Hey, what about there?"

Leaning over to better see what was indicated, Evan peered at a flat-topped squat building with crimson walls just on the other side of the street and hugging the far intersection.  The layout was rectangular with one section in the middle sticking out.  "What is that place?"

"I don't know, but it doesn't have huge windows."  Leon stood up tall and reclaimed his weapon from his shoulder strap.  "Just very small windows.  It looks like."

"Well, the sooner we begin..."  Evan motioned to the others as his voice trailed off.

Evan led the two at a brisk pace, keeping just enough of an eye upon them to make sure he wasn't leaving the others behind.  They progressed through the parking structure and emerged onto the street.  Leading them along the center of the road hurriedly, Evan turned towards the near corner.  Hastily edging forwards he proceeded into the intersection, checking in all directions before waving the others towards him.

Directing his attention towards the structure, it appeared as if it had been closed for a while.  Something about the exterior coat of paint looked old, but it wasn't yet cracking or peeled.  The tiny fraction of interior he could see through the small window on the door had a peculiar air of disuse.  A sign on the door indicated it was available for lease.  Evan tested the handle before facing the others.  "This could work for tonight.  Given the window, I think we can keep the lock intact."

"Got it."  Leon stepped forwards and motioned the others away.  Evan watched him take steady aim at the window and deliver a crack of violence to the glass.  Once more, and the spidery web that had formed had a secondary webbing.  Leon frowned and took another step back, firing twice more.  Then he raised the butt of his rifle, bringing it down hard on the tiny window with heavy blows.  "We're lucky we have these guns.  Sheesh."

Evan looked around, pausing to nod confidently at Minoko, who seemed quite anxious.  He didn't like the way that cascading series of echoes had seemed to fill the city.  But there was nothing he could do about it but remain alert.  Still nothing in the area from what he could see.  When Leon finally forced a few chunks to loosen, he breathed a deep sigh of relief.

Leon paused briefly to inspect the tattered, uneven fracture, and turned to look at the others.  "Shit, anyone have gloves still?"

Evan flinched slightly as Minoko replied.  "They were in the car."

"Right."  Leon set down his rifle carefully and flicked off his heavy sweater.  Now with the grey thermal undershirt, he wrapped the black fabric quickly over his arm and hand.  Gingerly pushing through the opening of glass, an audible click came after a moment.  Withdrawing his arm just as cautiously as he had pushed it through, he shoved the door open and stepped back.

Although Leon had already ventured his hand in there, Evan was ready for the signal; entering the small structure with his pistol drawn.  Quickly walking through the open, dim interior, he looked around what corners and hidden spaces there were in the mostly open structure.  Slightly discolored regions on the white walls were the only shapes he saw and there was nothing moving he could see.  There were a couple of doors, but Evan only checked they were secure before moving on.  A faint scent of musty paper wafted in the air as he stepped over a few scraps.  A fine sheen of dust laid on basic furnishings too old or cheap for the former user to want.  As he turned back, Leon and Minoko were already inside the doorway, alert but hopeful.

"Safe.  Looks like it's been empty for a while."  A look of eager relief passed over the others.  Leon reset the lock and walked inside to look around.  Minoko placed her rifle aside, taking a breather against the wall.  Evan exhaled slowly, suddenly aware how it felt easier to breathe.

Holstering the weapon, Evan proceeded to a worn but sturdy table and tested its weight with one arm.  Zombies seemed to capable of operating door knobs and handles, but he wasn't sure if reaching inside a door's broken window to twist a deadbolt lock would be similar instinct.  It seemed at the very least to require a little thought to be capable of such a thing.

As if knowing what he was thinking, Minoko had come to the other end of the table and positioned herself as if to move it.  After a moment of what must have been a confused look, Minoko spoke.  "Just in case, right?"

"Right."  Together, they effortlessly moved the table into the entryway at an angle to obstruct the door.  They worked with it until it was wedged tightly against the door and wall, creating a barricade for the door.  Minoko took a step back and leaned against the wall.

Just in time, Evan thought as he looked around.  Although it hadn't been too long, they had just about lost the last of the light.  Shuffling over and standing up tall, he peeked through one window.  From it he could see the parking garage across the street, but visibility was very poor.  It was definitely the right call to find somewhere to shelter during the night.  In a few more minutes it would probably be almost completely dark.

Leon returned and set up a few folding chairs.  "Looks like this used to be an art gallery.  I found a storage room in the back.  Also, there's an access to the roof."

Evan slumped into one of the chairs, allowing nervous tension to fade which he had not realized was present.  Hopefully, Lucas would survive on his own until he either escaped or decided to return.

Leon carefully checked on the door, ensuring the lock and barricading table was in place.  He took a scrap of paper he had found to the tattered, torn sections of bullet resistant glass and taped it to drape over the cracks.  The extra effort made them completely concealed.

"So what do we do in the morning?"  Leon's barely visible outline returned to a chair.

"Probably head back.  Let everyone know we're okay."  Evan replied.  "How much ammunition does everyone have?"

Leon checked his pockets and tossed something against the nearby wall with a jingle.  "Whatever's left in the rifle.  I think it's something like six or eight bullets.  The rest was in the back seat."

"I only fired a couple times."  Minoko added as she watched the door.

"I think I have a couple shots left."  Evan sighed as he unclasped the holster for the pistol and set it aside.

"What do we do with the keys we still have?"  Minoko whispered.

"That was just a trick to get us out here to steal the car."  Leon gestured.

"Maybe..."  Evan briefly considered the idea.  Lucas had once told him that the best deceptions were the ones partly based on truth.  "But I don't think he would have suggested it in the first place if he didn't think the plan was reasonable."

"We have less than half of what we started with."  Leon continued.  "Good idea or not, we're less likely to get a hit now."

"On foot, it would take us longer to search..."  Evan began, but shook his head.  "No, I think we should head back in the morning.  Maybe we can come back to this when we're better prepared."  Or maybe, Evan thought to himself, if Lucas returned with the car they could get back to their plan.

The three of them sat in the dark quietly for some time, listening to the steady white noise in the distance.  Idle talk came now and then in whispers before they finally decided it was time to try sleep.  Evan tried not to think too deeply about the soft noise that lulled him to sleep.